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Five surgeons are discussing who makes the best patients to operate on.
The first surgeon says, "I like to see accountants on my operating table, because when you open them up, everything is numbered.
The second surgeon responds, "Yeah, but you should try electricians! Everything inside them is color coded."
The third surgeon says, "No, I really think the file clerks are the best; everything inside them is in alphabetical order."
The fourth surgeon chimes in, "You know, I like construction workers. Those guys always understand when you have a few parts left over at the end, and when the job takes longer than you said it would."
But the fifth surgeon shut them all up when he observed, "You're all wrong. Leakers are the easiest to operate on. There's no guts, no heart, and no spine, and the head and ass are interchangeable."
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Ty Steel goes into a club, goes up to the bar, and orders a drink. A beautiful black lady next to him notices that he is wearing a T-shirt that says "I like my women the same as my coffee". She smiles at him and says, "Let me guess - hot, rich, and black." He gives a puzzled look and says, "No, ground up and stored in the freezer."
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Leaker Larry died in a fire and his body was burnt pretty bad. The morgue needed someone to identify the body, so his two best friends, Joe and Chris, were sent for. Joe went in and the mortician pulled back the sheet. Joe said, “Yup, he’s burnt pretty bad. Roll him over. ” The mortician rolled him over, and Joe said, “Nope, ain’t Larry.” The mortician thought that was rather strange. Then he brought Chris in to identify the body. Chris took a look at him and said, “Yup, he’s burnt real bad, roll him over. ” The mortician rolled him over and chris said, “No, it ain’t Larry!” The mortician asked, “How can you tell? ” Chris said, “Well, Larry had two assholes. ” “What? He had two assholes? ” said the mortician. “Yup, everyone in town knew he had two assholes. Every time we go out on a stakeout, folks would say, ‘Here comes Larry with them two assholes.'"
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Two leakers were sitting in a van outside an Eccie social, hoping to get some pictures of the ladies going inside. As it got dark, leaker Larry noticed an underage streetwalker strutting beside the van. He watched her pass by and got out to chat with her. He came back a few minutes later and got back in the van. "Joe", he said, "How about 20 bucks for a blowjob?" Joe thought for a second and said, "I don't know Larry. Are you any good?"
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As an airplane is about to crash, a female passenger jumps up frantically and announces, "If I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman." She removes all her clothing and asks, "Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?"
A leaker stands up, removes his shirt and says, "Here, iron this!".
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Q: Why do leakers never eat vegetables?
A: It's too hard to get them back in the wheelchair.
Q: What does it mean when a leaker is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?
A: You didn't hold the pillow down long enough.
Q: How can you tell if a leaker is dead?
A: The sex is the same, but you get to use the laptop.
Q: Why do leakers like to watch porno movies backwards?
A: They like the part where the prostitute gives the money back.
Q: How does a leaker find a sheep in tall grass?
A: Very satisfying.
Q: What’s the difference between a leaker and a zit?
A: At least a zit waits until you’re a teenager before it cums on your face!
Q: What is a roll of duct tape and a Popsicle stick?
A: Leaker Viagra.
Q: What do a Christmas tree and a leaker have in common?
A: Their balls are just for decoration.
Q: What is a roll of duct tape and a Popsicle stick?
A: Leaker Viagra.
Q: What do a Christmas tree and a leaker have in common?
A: Their balls are just for decoration.
Q: What happens when a leaker gets Alzheimers disease?
A: His IQ goes up!
Q: What is the difference between a honest leaker and Bigfoot?
A: Bigfoot has been spotted.
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An older leaker becomes a sugardaddy to an underage lady and he falls very much in love with her. However, no matter what he does sexually, the girl never achieves orgasm. He decides to take her to a sex therapist who makes the following suggestion. "Hire a strapping young man. While the two of you are making love, have the young man wave a towel over you. That will help the girl fantasize and should bring on an orgasm." They go back to the leaker cave and follow the therapist's advice. They hire a handsome young teenager from the girl's high school and he waves a towel over them as they make love. But it doesn't help and she is still unsatisfied. Perplexed, they go back to the therapist. "Okay", says the therapist, "let's try it reversed. Have the young man make love to your sugarbaby and you wave the towel over them." Once again, they follow the therapist's advice. The young teenager gets into bed with the sugarbaby and the leaker waves the towel. The young man gets to work with great enthusiasm and the girl soon has an enormous, room-shaking screaming orgasm. The leaker smiles, looks at the young man and says to him triumphantly, "You see, THAT'S the way to wave a towel!
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Pretty girl in a bar asks a leaker, "What sign you were born under?" He replies, "RED LIGHT DISTRICT".
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A Rabbi, a Hindu, and a leaker are in a car. They run out of gas and are forced to stop at a farmer's house. The farmer says that there are only two extra beds, so one person will have to sleep in the barn.
The Hindu says, "I'm humble, I will sleep in the barn." So, he goes out to the barn. In a few minutes, the farmer hears a knock on the door. It's the Hindu and he says, "There is a cow in the barn. It's against my beliefs to sleep with a cow."
So, the Rabbi says, "I'm humble, I'll sleep in the barn." A few minutes later, the farmer hears another knock on the door and it's the Rabbi. He says that it is against his beliefs to sleep where there is a pig and there is a pig in the barn.
So, the leaker is forced to sleep in the barn. A few minutes later, there is a knock on the door.
It's the pig and the cow...
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A cannibal was walking through the jungle and came upon a restaurant opened by a fellow cannibal. Feeling somewhat hungry, he sat down and looked over the menu...
Broiled Missionary: $25.00
Fried Explorer: $35.00
Baked Leaker: $100.00
The cannibal called the waiter over and asked, "Why such a price difference for the leaker?" The cook replied "Have you ever tried to clean one of them?"
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A married leaker was spending the afternoon with his sugarbaby when she asked that he shave his beard.
"I do like your beard, Joe, but I would really love to see your handsome face," she said.
"My wife loves this beard, honey," he replied. "I couldn't possibly shave it. She would kill me."
"Oh, please?" his sugarbaby purred.
"Really, I can't," he replied. "My wife loves this beard!"
The sugarbaby promised to wear him out with the strapon, so he sighed and finally gave in.
That night, Joe crawled into bed with his wife while she was sleeping.
His wife stirred, felt his face, and said, "Oh, Jack, you shouldn't be here. My husband will be home soon!"
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A leaker walks into a pub and sees a sign hanging over the bar which reads:
Cheese Sandwich: $1.50
Chicken Sandwich: $2.50
Hand Job: $10.00
Checking his wallet for the necessary payment, he walks up to the bar and beckons to one of the three exceptionally attractive blondes serving drinks to an eager-looking group of men.
"Yes?" she enquires with a knowing smile, "can I help you?"
"I was wondering", whispers the leaker, "are you the one who gives the hand-jobs?"
"Yes", she purrs, "I am."
The leaker replies "Well, go wash your hands, I want a cheese sandwich!"
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An older leaker becomes a sugardaddy to an underage lady and he falls very much in love with her. However, no matter what he does sexually, the girl never achieves orgasm. He decides to take her to a sex therapist who makes the following suggestion. "Hire a strapping young man. While the two of you are making love, have the young man wave a towel over you. That will help the girl fantasize and should bring on an orgasm." They go back to the leaker cave and follow the therapist's advice. They hire a handsome young teenager from the girl's high school and he waves a towel over them as they make love. But it doesn't help and she is still unsatisfied. Perplexed, they go back to the therapist. "Okay", says the therapist, "let's try it reversed. Have the young man make love to your sugarbaby and you wave the towel over them." Once again, they follow the therapist's advice. The young teenager gets into bed with the sugarbaby and the leaker waves the towel. The young man gets to work with great enthusiasm and the girl soon has an enormous, room-shaking screaming orgasm. The leaker smiles, looks at the young man and says to him triumphantly, "You see, THAT'S the way to wave a towel!
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Pretty girl in a bar asks a leaker, "What sign you were born under?" He replies, "RED LIGHT DISTRICT".
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A Rabbi, a Hindu, and a leaker are in a car. They run out of gas and are forced to stop at a farmer's house. The farmer says that there are only two extra beds, so one person will have to sleep in the barn.
The Hindu says, "I'm humble, I will sleep in the barn." So, he goes out to the barn. In a few minutes, the farmer hears a knock on the door. It's the Hindu and he says, "There is a cow in the barn. It's against my beliefs to sleep with a cow."
So, the Rabbi says, "I'm humble, I'll sleep in the barn." A few minutes later, the farmer hears another knock on the door and it's the Rabbi. He says that it is against his beliefs to sleep where there is a pig and there is a pig in the barn.
So, the leaker is forced to sleep in the barn. A few minutes later, there is a knock on the door.
It's the pig and the cow...
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A cannibal was walking through the jungle and came upon a restaurant opened by a fellow cannibal. Feeling somewhat hungry, he sat down and looked over the menu...
Broiled Missionary: $25.00
Fried Explorer: $35.00
Baked Leaker: $100.00
The cannibal called the waiter over and asked, "Why such a price difference for the leaker?" The cook replied "Have you ever tried to clean one of them?"
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A married leaker was spending the afternoon with his sugarbaby when she asked that he shave his beard.
"I do like your beard, Joe, but I would really love to see your handsome face," she said.
"My wife loves this beard, honey," he replied. "I couldn't possibly shave it. She would kill me."
"Oh, please?" his sugarbaby purred.
"Really, I can't," he replied. "My wife loves this beard!"
The sugarbaby promised to wear him out with the strapon, so he sighed and finally gave in.
That night, Joe crawled into bed with his wife while she was sleeping.
His wife stirred, felt his face, and said, "Oh, Jack, you shouldn't be here. My husband will be home soon!"
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A leaker walks into a pub and sees a sign hanging over the bar which reads:
Cheese Sandwich: $1.50
Chicken Sandwich: $2.50
Hand Job: $10.00
Checking his wallet for the necessary payment, he walks up to the bar and beckons to one of the three exceptionally attractive blondes serving drinks to an eager-looking group of men.
"Yes?" she enquires with a knowing smile, "can I help you?"
"I was wondering", whispers the leaker, "are you the one who gives the hand-jobs?"
"Yes", she purrs, "I am."
The leaker replies "Well, go wash your hands, I want a cheese sandwich!"
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Leaker Larry is stalking Tbone's birthday party when the cell phone keypad stops working. He sends the text "Spacebarbrokenneedanalternate" back to leaker headquarters and drives back to get a new phone. when he arrives, he finds Leaker Joe sitting naked on the couch, lube in hand. "I got your message", squealed Joe, "but what is a ternate?"
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Leaker Joe is driving home from stalking a social when his car breaks down. A friendly trucker picks him up and Joe climbs up in the cab and notices a monkey on the dashboard. After a few miles, he asks the driver what the monkey is for. The driver says "I'll show you," and with that he hits the monkey with the back of his hand, sending the poor creature rolling across the dash. The monkey goes down between the drivers legs, unzips his pants, pulls out his cock and proceeds to give the trucker oral gratification. When finished, the monkey pulls out a tissue, cleans the driver up, puts everything back and jumps back up on the dashboard. "See that?" said the trucker. Leaker Joe said, "Yeah!" The trucker ask the leaker, "You want to try it?" Joe said, "OK, but don't hit me as hard as you hit that monkey!"
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A leaker is starting his first day with Eccieleaks and the head leaker Joe is giving him the tour. "There's the Photoshop stations, there's the long distance lenses, and there's the barrel for all you sexual needs."
"Whatcha mean? my sexual needs?"
"Well, you stick your cock in the hole and you'll be serviced, anytime you want, except for Wednesdays."
"What happens on Wednesdays?"
"It's your turn in the barrel..."
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Leaker Joe is driving home from stalking a social when his car breaks down. A friendly trucker picks him up and Joe climbs up in the cab and notices a monkey on the dashboard. After a few miles, he asks the driver what the monkey is for. The driver says "I'll show you," and with that he hits the monkey with the back of his hand, sending the poor creature rolling across the dash. The monkey goes down between the drivers legs, unzips his pants, pulls out his cock and proceeds to give the trucker oral gratification. When finished, the monkey pulls out a tissue, cleans the driver up, puts everything back and jumps back up on the dashboard. "See that?" said the trucker. Leaker Joe said, "Yeah!" The trucker ask the leaker, "You want to try it?" Joe said, "OK, but don't hit me as hard as you hit that monkey!"
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A leaker is starting his first day with Eccieleaks and the head leaker Joe is giving him the tour. "There's the Photoshop stations, there's the long distance lenses, and there's the barrel for all you sexual needs."
"Whatcha mean? my sexual needs?"
"Well, you stick your cock in the hole and you'll be serviced, anytime you want, except for Wednesdays."
"What happens on Wednesdays?"
"It's your turn in the barrel..."
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I think that these are in very bad taste. Now if I could just stop laughing, I am sure I would be very offended.
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